Why I believe in God...

I have been thinking lately about what I would like to write about, and God has put it on my heart to share with you, why I am a Christian.  Why do I believe that God is real?  This question has been running though my mind a lot lately has been the topic of conversation in Sunday school class, and discussed in a study book I have been reading, all encouraging us to “be prepared to give an answer to why you have faith in Jesus Christ.” 

I have struggled with this question, because I have never really been put on the spot to answer it before.  I thought it had to be a question that I had some sort of rehearsed answer that would convince anyone that God was real.  I thought I had to research theories and creation accounts, as well as prove Jesus’ existence through historical proof.  My husband and I saw the movie God's Not Dead, and I felt…that’s how I need to be ready to respond, like the student who loved God enough, and had enough faith, that he was willing to talk in front of his peers in multiple classes trying to convince them through creation accounts and philosophical theories that God is real. 

I realized though, that is not what God is asking of me.  He is simply asking me to share from my life experiences why I believe in Him.  Therefore, I am not going to go into scientific proofs, or talk about theories of why God is or isn't real.  I am simply going to share with you from the bottom of my heart how Christ has revealed himself to me. 

Here’s why God is real to me:  during my darkest moments, the hardest trials, just when I think I am alone, God draws me in to remind me that I am not.  Paul reminds us in Philippians verse 4 to “Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again, rejoice.”  Paul goes on to say in verse 11, “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether in living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through Him who gives me strength."  

I think one of the best visuals of this is the footprints in the sand poem.  Here we have an image of footprints walking along in the sand.  For periods of time, there are two sets.  They walk through life, through some good times, but when bad times come…there is only one set.  Now some people might jump on this chance to discredit God.  Where is He in the bad times, why does He allow bad things to happen? But do you know, that I have come to cling to the fact that there are only one set of footprints.  “The times when you have seen only one set of footprints, is when I carried you.”  Wow, so those low points, the bad times, the hardest trials, He was there.  He carried me.  He was my strength to get though those times.   I know this to be true in my own life, because I couldn't have walked through those times on my own.  I would have fallen, not able to get back up.  But with His strength, I have overcome.  Through these trials I have looked for and been shown joy, the joy of the Lord. That is why God is real to me. 

I also believe that God loves us, so much so that “he gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16.  Jesus’ death and resurrection was to restore the relationship between us and God.  Knowing this, believing in this, gives me hope and purpose for my life and joy for the trials I endure.  1 Peter 1:3-9 reassures us of this hope. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.  In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.  These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.  Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

This was all mulling in my head one Sunday during worship service.  In only God’s perfect way, His perfectly orchestrated way, our worship leader played “I Know My Redeemer Lives” by Nicole C. Mullen.  What a beautiful testimony of how God is present in creation all around us.  If it’s not enough for you to think about not being able to make it on your own strength, look all around you.  Look at creation.  Look at how beautifully and intricately our world is made and works.  I see the hand of God, His signature on the beautiful canvas all around me. 

Who taught the sun
Where to stand in the morning
Who taught the ocean
You can only come this far
And who showed the moon
Where to hide till evening
Whose words alone can
Catch a falling star

…

The very same God
That spins things in orbit
Runs to the weary
The worn and the weak
And the same gentle hands
That hold me when I'm broken
They conquer death to bring me victory

I Know My Redeemer Lives -Nicole C. Mullen

I am very fortunate to be able to teach my daughter some of these truths in her science curriculum.  We have been studying how different birds and insects live.  I could go on forever with the detail of how they live, and the purposes behind some of the things that they do to survive, and those don’t just happen by chance.  God created them this way, maybe if for no other reason than to reveal himself to us. 

I have seen God through the miracle of my children.  I have seen God when my mourning turned to joy (Psalms 30:11).  I have seen God when forgiveness was extended to me.  I have seen God when relationships in my life have been restored.  I have seen God when I desperate, lonely, and afraid.  I have seen God when I have looked back at moments in my life and can say “Oh, that’s why I went through this,” or “that’s what I was supposed to learn from this situation.”  I know that God is real, because His hand is so present in guiding my life.  I don’t believe in coincidences.  I believe that one feels called to something, or led in a direction because God is working in their lives.  That’s how I know He is real.  As you prepare yourself to answer the question is God real to you, or why do you believe in God, I pray Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Would you choose to suffer?

A few weeks ago, during our Sunday school class, we were talking about Jesus feeding the five thousand, and then Jesus walking out onto the water, to the disciples during a storm.  My husband pointed out something about this story, that doesn't really get much mention, but to us, has become pretty significant.  Jesus told the disciples to get in the boat, and begin crossing the lake. (Matthew 14:22, Mark 6:45) Apparently, the sea of Galilee is subject to sudden storms because of the physical features surrounding it.  Jesus knew this; he knew that he was sending the disciples into a storm.  So why would he do this?  Why would he send them into danger, to suffer through this storm?  The same reason he chooses to send us into some of the storms we go through in life.  He wants to reveal himself to us.  If he hadn't told to disciples to go into this storm, there wouldn't have been an opportunity to show them his power and his glory, by walking on the water and calming the disciple’s fears.  Most likely if Jesus hadn't told the disciples to go…they probably wouldn't have.  Don’t forget, many of them were fishermen, who probably also knew the sea pretty well and wouldn't have chosen to go sail across the lake during a storm. 

This story has become special to me because of knowing that God has chosen to show me his power and his glory through my son, Weston.  He knows that I certainly wouldn't have chosen to go through this storm in my life.  But he sent me anyways.  He has shown himself to me, shown me his power and given me strength to overcome this storm.  He is the one that is in control, and will guide me through all of life’s struggles. 

Through this journey of healing from losing Weston, I begin to relate to the disciples in the rest of the story of Jesus walking on water.  At first, my faith never wavered.  Like Peter, I instantly “got out of the boat, and walked on the water toward Jesus.”  I knew I had to seek Jesus to be strong enough to get through this.  I knew that Jesus would give me the words to say when others asked questions or came to offer comfort.  I knew that only Jesus could help me to see the blessings through a tragedy and be thankful.   My marriage became stronger, because of Christ.  Donavon and I leaned on each other, loved each other more, and learned to let go of past hurts.  I became thankful because my other two children were also experiencing and seeing God’s glory and power.  While Brayden (age 2) doesn't quite understand all that happened, Katelyn (age 6) knows that Weston is in Heaven, and he will never know pain or suffering.  In fact, many times she has seen me cry, and comforted me with words only God could have given her.  She told me once that it was okay to cry for Weston, but that they should be happy tears, because we know that God is taking care of Weston in Heaven.  That Weston will never know what it’s like to hurt, suffer pain, or go through bad things, because that doesn't happen in Heaven.  Her faith is so solid, and though she is only a child, and doesn't understand everything, she understands what is important.  She has captured the true meaning of child like faith.  I know there will be many more blessings that I will see as a result of Weston’s life, my hope is that they will be kingdom building for Christ, and that he will continue to be glorified and praised. 

But like Peter, sometimes, I too take my eyes off of Christ.  Sometimes I let the doubt, the pain, and the fears consume me, like the waves did to Peter.  Sometimes I find myself thinking what if I lose another child, what if something happens to someone in my family, what if we don’t have any more children, what if I have to go through another trial so huge?  Satan uses all of these “what ifs” to get me to take my eyes off Christ.   It’s so simple, but why don’t we remember to just keep our focus on Christ, because He alone is sufficient.  He alone is strong enough. He alone controls the wind and the waves of these storms.  When I keep my eyes on Jesus, I know that the fears and lies that Satan tries to get me to believe are just that fears and lies.  But what is more important, when I keep my eyes on Jesus, I remember His promises.  Psalms 18:30, “As for God, his way is perfect.  ALL the Lord’s promises prove true (emphasis mine).  He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.  For who is God except the Lord?  Who but our God is a solid rock?”  So what are His promises?  “For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need.”  Philippians 4:13.  This includes overcoming the loss of Weston.  He promises that when I “take delight in the Lord, he will give you your hearts desires.” Psalms 37:4.  My prayer will be that my desires will be in accordance with God’s will, and He will fulfill them.  Jeremiah 29:11-14 “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord, “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.  In those days when you pray I will listen.  If you look for me in earnest, you will find me when you seek me.”    Finally, I will share with you Paul’s words when asking God to remove a thorn in his side (who some believe to be some sort of affliction he suffered) “Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away.  Each time he said, ‘My gracious favor is all you need.  My power works best in your weakness.’  So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may work through me.  Since I know it is all for Christ’s good, I am quite content with my weaknesses and with insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.”  2 Corinthians 12:8-10.  God’s word is full of promises to help us overcome life’s trials and hardships.  I can honestly say that while I thought my faith was pretty solid before, God has definitely used Weston to strengthen my relationship with Him, and to keep my eyes on Him.   For that I am grateful.

Scripture references using the New Living Translation, Life Application Study Bible.

I still believe...

For a while I have felt God’s leading in my heart to start a blog.  I have seen many of my friends writing blogs, and have been encouraged by many of the stories, life experiences, and words of wisdom that they have shared.  As a stay at home mom, sometimes it is hard for me to be able to share my faith with others, because I can get so caught up in what is only right in front of me, right in my home.  While I feel that this is my “mission field,” I know that God still wants me to be able to share my faith with those outside of my little bubble, and one of the ways I have thought about doing this is through a blog. 

So, this would be my mode…but what would I talk about.  What could I share, that would be glorifying to God that would make an impact on others.  Up until recently, I have lived a pretty “normal” life.  With the exception of a few minor bumps in the road of life,  I have grown up, went to college, met the love of my life, got married, worked, had kids….and so on.  Along the way, I have had many lessons from God, many moments where I felt God shaping my life… but I wasn't sure where I would start in blogging.  And once I started…where would I go from there?  I know that God would supply me with many topics to share, but what if I got stuck?  All these thoughts have lead to the procrastinating of starting a blog that would allow me to share the things that God has been doing in my life. 

That was up until this fall.  This might be a hard read, but I feel that God has put it on my heart to begin this blog, by sharing one of the greatest trials I have been through, and how He has used it thus far to show me His presence, His faithfulness, and that He is in control.  A little over a year ago, I became pregnant with our third child.  This was my most difficult pregnancy yet.  Not so much in the medical aspect, I was fine.  The baby was fine.  It was just uncomfortable.  I was so sick with morning sickness; it was all I could do to function, just enough to take care of my other two children, Katelyn and Brayden.  There were other things going on in life, homeschooling, vehicle issues, and my husband taking college classes to finish another degree that being really sick, just made life miserable.  By summer, things got much better, and we could finally start preparing for our 3^rd child to join us.  God however had other plans. 

At 38 weeks along, one day, I had noticed that I hadn't felt the baby kick in a while.  After waiting a few minutes to see if I felt anything, I called my doctor and headed to the hospital.  After what seemed like forever, Donavon and I were told the worst imaginable phrase ever; your baby’s heart is no longer beating.  Our son’s umbilical cord had a knot in it that had gotten too tight.  The rest of the next few days were a blur of questions, few answers, decisions, and continuing of breaking hearts; ours, our other two children and other family members.  We prepared to say good bye to our son, whom we named Weston Paul.

I know that this is hard to read, and you might be wondering why in the world I am sharing this story.  I am sharing because this is part of my testimony.  I am sharing because the story isn't finished.  I am sharing because though this has been the greatest heartache of my life, I have seen God do so much through it, and I have learned to trust in God even more.  If God can heal this much pain, He is worthy to be praised.  If God can heal this pain in our hearts, God can heal any pain; yours included.  The last six months have been a time of growth for me, and I have gotten to know my Savior so much more.  I have found comfort in the verses of Psalms 34:18 "The Lord is close to the broken hearted, He rescues those who are crushed in Spirit".  Isaiah 41:10, "Do not be afraid, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God, I will strengthen you, I will help you.  I will uphold you with my victorious right hand."  Psalms 18:30 "As for God, His way is perfect.  All of the Lord’s promises have proven true.  He is a shield for all who look to Him for protection.  For who is God except the Lord?  Who but God is a solid rock?"

I share this story, not to find sympathy.  Not to boast in myself, for I wouldn't have made it through this without God’s strength and comfort.  I tell this story so that you may see God.  So that you may see how God has worked in my life.  So that even in the middle of storms, you can see that God desires us to still believe in Him, to turn to Him, to praise His name.